How long is my hair today? I recently went to a supermarket and visited the aisle selling wet mops, the kind with long white ropy strands, the kind that birthed the term “moptops,” which was over-generously applied to the early Beatles. (Basically, they were whisk-broom-tops.) I took out a mop and held it next to my head and asked passersby which was longer.
“Your hair is a little longer,” opined a lady named Ana.
“No,” amended her friend Sara. “Your hair is a lot longer.”
Inability to get a haircut safely is of course causing many people to let their hair grow out; this is generally more evident in men, because women can rock many lengths and styles without attracting attention. Men are sorta screwed, and it seems to be bothering many of them. I see men with neatly trimmed hair in the streets — someone is risking sickness and even death by going to barbers. These tend to be young men, a point I will get to. I do know two guys roughly my age who braved the chair. Mark, who said he got his hair cut in part because it’s sweaty playing tennis with long hair, denied there was anything frivolous or particularly dangerous about the decision, though he added that he “had to sign a waiver and have my temperature taken.” See, no problem at all!
Some studies are showing that it’s now relatively safe to see a hairstylist in relatively unafflicted parts of the country(though some news stories still rate hairdressers as having one of the riskiest professions, right up there with flight attendants and dentists). I’m still staying away from the barber, for two reasons. First, while I am willing to risk having strangers in masks six feet away in the street or at a grocery store, or at a bank with bulletproof glass separating me from the teller, I am not willing to risk strangers in masks leaning in to trim around my ears. The second reason is that I kinda like my hair this way, at least for now. The lost youth it restores! And I’m not being judged for it! I’m merely being prudent! And I’m not exposing myself to danger, and by extension exposing others to danger, because of the folly of vanity! I’m practically an American hero!
Sure, there are downsides, like the sidelong, suspicious look I recently got when picking up a prescription for a narcotic drug. But there are also tangible advantages. For one thing, I am not resorting to haircuts at home by loving but inexperienced people, haircuts that sometimes turn out tonsorially indefensible. A relative of mine recently appeared on screen proudly sporting a new “do” his doctor wife had given him. She had kept cutting to “even it up,” until his head wound up looking like a nubby pencil eraser. Alex Fine, who illustrates this column, was a little luckier. He eventually asked his wife to cut his pandemic hair, and she turned out to have some skill, but also ... predilections. “She went with ’70s punk rocker. I went from Syd Barrett to Sid Vicious.”
For another thing, there’s the element of surprise: I’ve recently given Zoom lectures to journalists and journalism students, and I’ll go on screen wearing a baseball cap of the Homestead Grays, a Negro League team. I tuck my hair up under the cap and begin by noting that a lot of men wear caps to hide their baldness. Then I sheepishly take the cap off, to laughter and sometimes applause.
And finally, there’s the occasional meeting of twinkling eyes between me and other similarly coiffed old hippies in the street. Oh, the fun we used to have. We’re still the same people, minus the undulating spiders.
Email Gene Weingarten at weingarten@washpost.com. Find chats and updates at washingtonpost.com/magazine.
For stories, features such as Date Lab, @Work Advice and more, visit WP Magazine.
September 03, 2020 at 08:00PM
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/gene-weingarten-forget-the-beatles-ive-got-a-real-moptop/2020/08/27/2503d842-dd61-11ea-b205-ff838e15a9a6_story.html
Gene Weingarten: Forget the Beatles. I’ve got a real moptop. - The Washington Post
https://news.google.com/search?q=forget&hl=en-US&gl=US&ceid=US:en
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