Mid-October.
At this time of year in 1993, I was living my best pre-Halloween life, making final tweaks to my Laura Ingalls Wilder costume, trying on my sunbonnet, perfecting my braids, dreaming of how many mini Snickers bars I could bag in a single night.
That was when it took three bites — not one — to finish a “mini” candy bar and when we had unlimited trick-or-treating in the (gasp!) dark until our legs gave out and our pumpkin buckets were leaving trails of Dubble Bubble on the sidewalk.
Now it’s mid-October 2020 and my kids have given up on Halloween. Not because it’s the Year of Crazy, just because Halloween was soooo last month.
“I’m going to make my Christmas list,” The Architect said matter-of-factly last week as she plopped down at the kitchen table with a notebook and pen.
“What?!?” I said, pausing to turn down Bing on the record player. “It’s still shorts weather! Why do you care about Christmas?”
Hearing the phrase “shorts weather,” Tiny popped in wearing her signature pink skirted leotard, a winter hat with kitten ears and nothing else.
“I’m going to make my Christmas list, too!” she cheered, running off to the craft table to grab a paper and pencil.
Having comfortably situated themselves in the middle of my grocery planning session, they began hashing out ideas.
“I want a drone,” The Architect said, carefully writing it in the “1” slot.
“I want a drone, too,” Tiny echoed, carefully writing an ‘A’ on her paper.
The Architect smirked and continued: “...And a black dragon Beanie Boo, and a little LEGO hospital, and Spiderman and a scooter. And a spinny chair. I really want a spinny chair.”
“Me too!” Tiny said, oblivious to her sister’s quietly mumbled “Copycat.”
The lists began to stray further from reality and into their collective stream of consciousness, wrapping up with a robot dog and turtle shirt and pants set. (“Dear Santa: Please Teach Mommy How To Sew Because Turtle Leggings are $50 on Etsy.”)
I looked over The Architect’s list when it was complete with a mere 13 items (she was running out of space). She had tugged at my heartstrings with Item 5, which read, “Lots of hugs.” Underlined, yet.
“Can I give you one thing from your list now?” I asked.
At first she looked at me like I was going to pull a robotic dog out of my back pocket, but the hug seemed to be a satisfactory consolation prize.
I spent the rest of the afternoon chuckling about my kids and their Christmas lists.
“So random,” I laughed to myself, then put them to bed and opened my laptop, only to discover that it was — I’d nearly forgotten! — Amazon Prime Day!
To think I almost missed it: A holiday (faux-oliday?) that plays to every 1993 kid’s Christmas whims in a way that is remarkably reflective of the inner workings of a 7-year-old’s brain.
One minute we’re responding to emails and setting up Zoom meetings, the next we’re hitting “Add to Cart” for things our younger selves could only have dreamed of:
“You know what I could really use? A card game called ‘Exploding Kitten’ and a $200 pair of sunglasses that play music!”
(Note: Sometimes I make stuff up for this column. Those I did not.)
I scrolled through the lightning deals and made mental notes of things I could find space for in our Random Appliance Cabinet, eventually meandering into the “clothing” category.
After a half hours’ worth of aimless perusal, I found a real gem.
I nudged Mr. Roy, who was scrolling through electronics deals.
“Do you think I would look good in these leggings?” I asked. “They’re on sale for $7.99 from $24.99!”
He squinted at the screen. “What do they have on them?” he asked.
“Um...turtles.”
“Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want,” he said, rolling his eyes. “So random.”
Listen, the calendar may say October, but look out, Christmas — here we come.
Abbey Roy is a mom of three girls who make every day an adventure. She writes to maintain her sanity. You can probably reach her at amroy@nncogannett.com, but responses are structured around bedtimes and weekends.
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The Link LonkOctober 18, 2020 at 08:38PM
https://www.newarkadvocate.com/story/life/2020/10/18/abbeys-road-forget-halloween-lets-talk-christmas/3655228001/
Abbey's Road: Forget Halloween; let's talk about Christmas - The Newark Advocate
https://news.google.com/search?q=forget&hl=en-US&gl=US&ceid=US:en
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