DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbors had two huge Trump flags on their front lawn before the election. My wife and I did not care for Trump at all.
They took the flags down the day after he lost. Since then, they have seemed a lot friendlier. They smile and wave at my family and even try to make small talk when they see my wife and me out on our morning walk.
I cannot forget the Trump flags and the aggression that they exuded leading up to the election. Should I get over it and try to make nice? I feel that they are still people I need to beware of.
Trump Neighbors
DEAR TRUMP NEIGHBORS: I’m a big believer in communication. Be friendly with your neighbors and strike up a conversation with them. If it happens naturally, get them to talk about their beliefs — not so much about Trump, but about what they value. The beauty of our country is that we are free to have our own viewpoints and express them publicly.
Of course, that means that we will disagree with some people — sometimes fervently. That’s all the more reason it would be good to talk about what you think and believe. During the Trump years, there was an awful lot of yelling and finger-pointing and not enough genuine conversation where ideas were batted around and people gave one another space to express what was on their minds and in their hearts. It is not too late for that.
Talk to your neighbors. If the time ever does come to comfortably talk politics, ask them about their opinions and listen to them. Don’t stand ready to pounce. Hear them out, and then share your views. You may be able to spar with them, agree to disagree or sway them to your way of thinking on a point or two. You don’t have to forget their support of Trump to talk to them and be cordial.DEAR HARRIETTE: I started seeing a girl who is a huge basketball fanatic. She started her own brand revolving around her favorite NBA teams, and she has a YouTube channel where she analyzes the latest games.
She told me she never played sports growing up. I really want to ask her how and why she got into sports, because it seems a little unusual for a woman with no sports background. Is that a sexist question? I was avoiding asking her for fear of it sounding sexist.
Dating a Sports Fan
DEAR DATING A SPORTS FAN: What is sexist is that your curiosity about her sports fanaticism is based on her being a woman. Why not just be curious?
It is interesting that your girlfriend is all about sports. Out of pure interest in her, ask her how she came to be so laser-focused on basketball. Did her parents watch sports when she was growing up? When did she first get interested? What propelled her to go as far as to create a brand around the industry?
If you are genuinely interested in your girlfriend’s choices, learn as much as you can about her and the business she has built. If you happen to be interested in sports, you are golden. You have a girlfriend who shares your passion. If you are not a basketball fan, you can still support her.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
The Link LonkJune 14, 2021 at 04:00PM
https://www.mercurynews.com/2021/06/14/harriette-cole-theyre-all-friendly-now-but-i-cant-forget-their-yard-flags/
Harriette Cole: They’re friendly now, but I can’t forget their yard flags - The Mercury News
https://news.google.com/search?q=forget&hl=en-US&gl=US&ceid=US:en
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